Teenagers Issues - How to Handle Defiant Teenagers
Posted by Healthfitline
On
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Parents find themselves having a hard time dealing with teenagers and end up putting too much blame on teenagers or even giving up. As a parent, you will all agree with me that, handling and understanding what a teenager really wants is the hardest thing that most parents face. This is because at this stage, teenagers are going through identity and development crisis and most parents have problem knowing how to relate with them.
In reality, no matter how much your teenager daughter or son may seems disconnected with your world, deep inside themselves, they care and they are always looking for someone to share their worries and concerns with. This is one reason why parents should try to learn and understand their teenagers' needs at this time. If parents are less concerned with their teenagers needs, most of them turn to doing other negative vices to try and attract their parents attention.
At this stage of development, it is important for a parent to spare some quality time to spend with his or her teenager and listen to what they say. This lead to the teenagers becoming more open to a point that, they can easily sharing their concerns and worries with their parents.
However, there are 3 main issues that teenagers struggle with and are known to have a big impact on who they become and how they make their decision. These issues are;
- Parents
- Peers Influence
- Responsibility
Parents
Teenager may seems very rebellious or defiant but they long for their parents to be part of their growth and in decision making. Some parents think that teenagers do not really care about their feelings, while indeed they do care alot. Indeed at this time, teenagers are looking for a place where they can live comfortably and at the same time, they are also looking for someone to understand them at this time of identity crisis.
Some parents turn to criticizing their teenagers which leave them feeling miserable and unloved. Parents should instead try to show them that they really understand what they are going through and they are there to help them instead of criticizing.
Some parents turn to criticizing their teenagers which leave them feeling miserable and unloved. Parents should instead try to show them that they really understand what they are going through and they are there to help them instead of criticizing.
An angry kind of approach will not yield anything and will instead widens the relationship gap. The point here is, parents should sit down with their teenagers, try to understand their needs and come up with a reasonable advice. When it comes to disciplining your teenager, discipline her from the perspective of what you are doing will be of benefit to her rather than, you are doing it since you are frustrated or angry with what she has done.
Disciplining your teenager by anger and frustrations will not solve anything and most likely, she will not learn anything from what you are doing. Most teenagers may look rebellious but when a situation is presented to them in a positive manner, they are always willing to adapt the solution easily. By doing this, you are also creating a good environment for them to express their feelings and frustrations, if any.
The other issue that parents need to ask themselves, is what type of role model they are to their children. Teenagers are always looking for a role model to imitate and since they spend most of their time with their parents, been a good role model is important. If you are good role model to your children, you help them in creating an unique identiy with the right values.
Parents should be a good example on the best way to behave, dress, talk or even to handle crisis. If a parents is a good role model to her teenager child, this will have a long time impact on the teenager life for the rest of her life. These are important values that becomes part of the teenager and eventually determine what type of person she will be when she grow up. It is the duty for the parents to decide which values they would like their daughters or son to carry along with them when they grows up.
Peer Pressure
The power of peer pressure in a teenager's life cannot be underestimated. Peer influence is a big thing in a teenager life and most of the decisions that she make is based on what friends say or think about her. Infact, peer group opinions will be of much weight than what parents says or think about a particular situation.
When it comes to peer influence, it does not matter how independent your teenager may seems, no teenager is prone to peer pressure influence. Peer pressure plays a significant role in the choices that a teenager make, whether it is buying new clothes, attitude, how they speak and even how their behave.
When it comes to peer influence, it does not matter how independent your teenager may seems, no teenager is prone to peer pressure influence. Peer pressure plays a significant role in the choices that a teenager make, whether it is buying new clothes, attitude, how they speak and even how their behave.
Some teenagers find themselves joining the wrong peer groups and end up getting involved in risky behaviors. This is another reason why parents should be part of a teenager's growing life. Parent should make sure that they teach their teenager the importance of making their own decision and having a firm stand rather than been swayed by the crowd.
This is a very imporant value to teach your teenager since it will help her in finding a balance during those difficult times. The challenge to all parents is to make sure that they instill values that will help their children to move along during turbulents moments.
Responsibilities
A teenager will only learn to be responsible if she is taught and given chance to learn how to be responsible. Most parents assume that teenager are learning just by watching what is been done by others without taking part in it. This is not true, if you want your teenager to learn how to be responsible, you must give her an opportunity to become responsible.
This is also a good way to show that you can trust her which will help in building her self confidence. Teenagers need to be encouraged to take part in planning a task since most teenagers will be more comfortable in accomplishing a task that they planned rather than the one which was planned by someone else.
Finally, learning to be responsible needs time and patience. You cannot expect your teenager to learn how to be responsible within a few days or one year but it is a continous process that is learned in small steps over a long period of time. The most important task for the parents is to provide a conducive environment that will help the teenager to develop to a responsible and a health adult. Parents need also to teach their teenagers about time management so that they can be able to accomplish different tasks on time.
Lastly, been a parent is a hard thing but it is also the duty of the parents to help in shaping up their teenagers to be the kind of a person that they would like them to be. Teenagers usually look up for their parents as role model and parents need to be the best example of what a role mode should be to their teenagers.
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